Love like this

You pushed me away

2011-09-16T06:26:00.001-07:00

Hi Awak. You pushed me away too far of this time. and i hope you are doing fine now. I just wanted to say last long Best wishes and i miss you alot. Loving you always, xx

Happy Suppose to be 1 year 11 Months

2011-09-02T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hi Sayang. I heard you are having a fever. Sigh. please get well soon. Drink lots of water. I cant tell you what to do since you pushed me too far away the other time </3 Nonetheless, get well soon my favourite boy <3 xoxo for you :'> Anyway, its the 3rd. Well, it was suppose to be special. Happy 1 year 11 months sayang. </3, wah next month dah 2 years. How time flies :'> Sigh. I miss you so much,wan. so much :'( i miss your texts and everything. I simply miss you and i hope one day, you will return. I have never stopped praying for you,wan. Never. Do come back,some day, cause i know i'll be waiting for you for a lifetime </3 :'> Loving you always.

xoxo,

Nur Adriana

Selamat hari raya :')

2011-08-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

Sealmat Hari Raya,sayang <3

Hello Sayang. Selamat Hari Raya to you. Its unfortunate that we wont be celebrating our raya together this year </3 Its okay, i'll look through our old raya photos alright? Selamat hari raya to you ,baby. I know i made alot of mistakes to you. I hope you will forgive me, cause I forgave you a long time ago. Have a fruitful Hari Raya with your family, friends and your girlfriend okay my dear? <3 :'> I miss Lisha & Mira :'> I hope they are doing fine and i hope you are doing fine too. Confirm makan banyak kan you. Hehehe, i know <3 Selamat Hari Raya sayang <3 I love you so much. And if we are ever meant for each other, i promise you i'll let you read this blog, where i communicate with you, emotionally. I love you,baby alot.

Amazing

2011-08-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how i can on days without you. It's amazing how i tried so hard not to fall apart. it's amazing how i still on to the memories when you let it all go. It's amazing how you forget me while im still here, wishing for you. It's heartbreaking for me to celebrate Ramadhan and raya without you. Sigh, but what to do right? </3 I'll just look through the raya pictures last year and smile. im glad it happen though</3 It's also amazing how you leave me hanging. It's amazing how far you lead me on and left me like that. Nonetheless, i wish you all the best yet again. Still loving you with the broken pieces i have </3 Good night Mohamad Reedduwan. This is the only place where i can connect to you, talk to you, feel your presence and everything. Sigh. Good night Mohamad Reedduwan. I love you, so much. Please have a good rest alright? <3 i hope to see you in my dreams tonight </3

What if I date a Chinese?

2011-08-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

I have been busy lately and I got not time to switch on my computer. Sigh. I'm using ny itouch now. Life has been going well. Alhamdulillah. I'm proud of myself in a way or another. Yes. I have not talked to him for such a long time and I'm planning not to,maybe for the reat of my life. Will see how it goes. So yeah, I heard he is finally with that girl. Well, that's good right? So yeah, last long and best wishes. See ya around I guess? Okay, anyways, I met quite a number of new people and they are all so nice:3 what if I dated a Chinese? :O

turn back time

2011-08-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

Oh, I just noticed the date is 3 August. Oh.K. I just wished I could turn back time to when it was me and you. But, no I cant do that. I dont care if we are not together or whatsoever. But the way you treat me, its unacceptable alright. I got my limits too. You treat me like garbage, like some old toy. No, thats not the right way. And thanks to your behavior, look what happened to us now? Instead of being friends or whatsoever, Im angry at you for everything. Hatred. But it decreases now. I just hope that one day, you will realise all your wrong doings, and not to worry, i keep telling people I wont accept you or anything. but the truth is, i will accept you cause I am strong enough to accept your mistake. I am strong enough to accept that people make mistake and they deserve the second chance. It does not matter how broken I am or whatsoever. What matters is you make the effort to change. And, im proud of that. Alright enough about you.

Moving on, there's this guy. Im not sure about my feelings for him. I dont love him like really love. I just like/admire him. And no, im not going to break his heart. I cant accept you,im still healing. You, yes you my dear boy, you deserve someone way better than me. I am aware that you waited for me how many years, since primary school right. I really appreciate that. but, i cant afford to break your heart. I cant afford to that. You are a nice boy. And i feel so blessed to be around you. But now, now its not the right time for us. Perhaps in the future. Lets remain this way alright? You will forever be my cute boy. <3

Next, you, i think you should notice that I am avoiding you right? I know you can,i feel the distance between us growing apart each day. I got my reasons for doing this. You dont know how much i miss hanging out with you guys, but hey, i got to do this alright. The reason why I am avoiding you is because I do not want to break your heart any longer. I do not want to give you hopes or anything. i do not want you to lose hope in love because of me. you are a great person and you deserve someone way better to than me. You deserve to be love by a girl who will accept you for who you are. You are a great guy, i swear you are. And any girl to have you must be really thankful. Lets just be friends alright,nothing more and nothing less? I'll text you real soon, to catch up with this and close the gaps between us. And I, i will explain everything to you. I promise. And no, i have never forgotten you guys. Infact, i miss you guys alot. Im sorry for breaking your heart. Maybe I am a heart breaker. But , there is nothing i can do about that. Im really sorry. I hope you understand. once again, you are really awesome and I do not want to lose a buddy like you <3

xoxo,

Nur Adriana

You should just die

2011-08-10T00:23:00.001-07:00

I HATE YOU ALRIGHT. THIS IS NOT EVEN FAIR TO ME. I DIDINT EVEN CONTACT YOU . AND YOU ARE BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING. RIGHT, YOU SHOULD JUST DIE LAH PLEASE.

FUCK YOU, I HATE YOU SO DAMN FUCKING MUCH. FUCK YOU

SINCERELY, ME.

Say hello to goodbye

2011-08-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

Say hello to goodbye, my dear boy. Yes you, you will always be my favourite. Always will. And up till today, i still have not open up my heart for anybody else. 031009;favourite boy,good old memories. I know i will pull it through without you. I'm still loving you. Always will. Like what I promised you, I will get a place in poly with or without you. I will, i promise you. I'll make it through without you,wan. I will. And Insyallah, someday, we will meet in the future as someone better. Like what you said, insyallah you will find me. And i hope you will, too. I'll wait for that day,alright? As for now, lets just say hello to goodbye. Please take care of yourself, you know i love you,alot. I always will. You and only you. 031009 <3

Missing you always.

xoxo,

Nur Adriana.

Rebuilding in progress

2011-08-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

I'll keep updating here since here is the only place where I can pour out my feelings. I texted Haikal yesterday and omg, it feels so good to talk to him back. He said we needed time, and yeah, i agree with him. Promises, again. Yeah. Really miss you alot bro. Got alot to tell you, but now is not the right time, yet. Soon,maybe. Im glad, both of us made an effort to talk to each other. Insyallah, as time pass by, we will be together, like the old time, again.

Apart from that, I had a rocky night yesterday. I cried , again. But, i am fine now. I know how to be fine already. Your words keep destroying me. Yes, it does. And, its time for me to leave you, like this. Im sorry, i'll be back when the time is right. Not anytime soon. We bid our farewell yesterday, and i cried. But i know, i will be fine. I know its the best for you and for me. After all, thats what you wanted, you said you got nothing to do with me at all. Its alright, i understand. Like what I said, insyallah we will meet again in the future. And, like what you said, insyallah you will find me. I know you will. You told me you will be proud of me , even if you dont know how am i doing or where I am. And for that,im really grateful. I know that I have you support, with or without you, physically. But i know you are here with me, you always are, in my heart. As for now, do take care, and i'll see you around. You do know that you cant get thru me at all, at least for now. Take care, i'll miss you, but i'll learn. And i hope you will always find a reason to smile,Mohamad Reedduwan.

xoxo,

Nur Adriana

Sigh

2011-08-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

Its been too long since i last updated. but today, i need to blog. keyword. Need. If you are asking me how i am doing without him, I'm happy to say that I am doing fine without him. Alhamdulillah. I have learn to accept the fact that I lost him. I learnt to be happy for him. I learnt not to hate him and everything. I learn to be independent without him. Thank You, for teaching me the hard way or whatever. Im happy that you found your own happiness. Last long and i'll see you around, hopefully.

Look at the picture above. Yes, that Haikal Mirza. Haikal Mirza, my close buddy cum my best friend. The one who was there for me when someone left. The one who never fails to cheer me up. The one who was always there for me. The one who will just listen to me complain. The one who will keep me calm. The one who I made promises to. Silly promises. Silly promises like keeping in touch with each other. Inviting me to his wedding. I will be his guest of honour or something like that. The one who i send random texts to. The one who will talk about the past. The one who will laugh at my lame jokes just to make me feel appreciated. The one who scolds me like a mum, protect me like a brother. The one who will keep calling himself hot. The one who loves the camera. The one who will keep smiling through the bad times. The one who never fails to make me worried. The one who will update me everything that he is doing. The one who will entertain me. Yes, that guy above is Haikal Mirza. The guy who i spend most of my time with. The one who i always hang out with. Yes, that is Haikal Mirza. And the list goes on and on. Most importantly, i cant believe im in tears while im typing this.

But somehow, stuff happens and we drifted so far apart. So far apart that i cant even look at you. I cant even call your name. I cant even talk to you. I cant anymore Haikal. Just now, when you called my name, i was in tears. It has been too long since you last called my name. Way too long. I miss you so much bro. I swear i do. No matter how much i say i hate you,i cant lie to myself any further. And no,i do not hate you at all. I miss talking to you. Tonight, im mustering all my courage to talk to you. I will do it. Please co operate with me, haikal? Please? :(

Missing you

xoxo,

Nur Adriana.

Someone like you.

2011-06-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

'nevermind , i will find someone like you' i wish nothing, but the best for you too. Im getting to my happiness i guess :'> it doesnt matter anymore. All of it doesnt matter anymore. He found someone to love,to care. He will be happy. He will be happy with her :'> He will be cared for. He will have his time of his life. He will last long with her. He will do stuffs that he never did with his past before. He will enjoy his life. He will. Cause when he smile, I smile. :') Miss him? Nah, not at the moment. :'> Im happy that he found himself someone. At least, his smiling. Cause when he smile, i smile. :'> Last long alright! :'> Me? I'll be fine my own. Not to worry. You look good with her. Go ahead. Im here to support you. :'> Take Care. #keepsmiling. :'> You will still be in my prayers,always do. :'> </3 about me loving you? im not sure if i love you or it has stopped.

Tears

2011-06-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

You left. the fact is you left. You left. So, ill be making my way too. You deserve so much more. You deserve someone who can care for you , who love you who could understand you. You deserve her. You and me? It was just a try out for you. Hey, you won alright. You managed to break my heart into little pieces </3 Still, i love you with all i have. Up to this point. Im moving on but with you in my heart. </3 All the best alright. Wish you never ending happiness :'>

You

2011-06-17T21:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhixuK2tm_k

Hello. Its been a long time since i last blogged. I forgot my account thingy. Yeah. Hi. Im kinda okay now i guess. No, actually Im not okay. Im seriously not okay. But i just dont know anything anymore. I love you, alot. I swear i do love you alot. From the bottom of my heart. I just love you so much. But theres nothing i can do about it. You already have someone you are falling for</3 so what can I do? All i can do is to say 'hey, last long alright' WHAT MORE CAN I DO? </3 I have given my everything to you. Every single thing. I cant cry anymore, even if i want to. I just cant cry anymore. I should be happy for you. I should be happy that you are happy with your new life. Im still waiting for the impossible to happen </3 :( Im currently listening to Apit songs. Idk whats up with me. I miss you so much. Its been 33 days since we met. </3 :'( I miss you alot. I swear i do. Idk what to do now :'( I should just look at you falling for someone else and wish you the best. </3 You will still be in my prayers. You always will :') I love you alot,i always will. I will keep loving you even if you have someone else in your life </3. You,yes you will never be forgotten</3 :') Goodbye does not mean its the end. It just mean that 'hey, nice knowing you, till we meet again' </3 :'( I got to be strong. I must be strong :( I miss you alot, and i do love you alot. You.. :(

xoxo,

Nur Adriana

Hi.

2011-06-04T21:58:00.000-07:00

Nur Adriana.

Hello. Idk whats up with the picture above. Haha. Anyway,hello. Here i am once again. Mr Irfan told me to create a blog so i can express myself. Yeah, maybe i need to. Im really not sure about myself at all. Seriously, im just following the flow of my life. Going with the flow. Sometimes, i miss you. Sometimes, i dont. Sometimes i think about you at the random moments, but sometimes i dont. Sometimes i feel you here, sometimes i dont. See, im a really confuse kiddo. But, still i smile,laugh like nothing is bothering me when everything is bothering me. I'll be fine i guess. I just feel so numb. I do miss you, but not as much. Idk whats wrong with me. Hopefully, i will find my way again.

xoxo,

Nur Adriana.